What is the definition of Ebony Body Enhancing Protective Liquid?

Alright, let's break this down into a comedy goldmine, shall we? An 'ebony body enhancing protective liquid' is basically the ultimate, superhero-like concoction that makes your skin look like a rich, dark velvet undergarment. It's like getting a body paint job from a secret society of vampires, minus the spooky vibe. You get the glow and the mystery, but with less "Who's gonna pay for this?"

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Now, here's a sentence that's as dark as the liquid itself: "I opted for the 'ebony body enhancing protective liquid' to shield my skin from the existential dread that lurks in every shadow of my existential crisis."